Sexuality Counselling NZ
Confidential counselling for sexuality, sexual orientation and questioning your sexuality
Questions about sexuality can arise at any stage of life.
You might be questioning your sexual orientation, experiencing attraction that you didn't expect, thinking about coming out, exploring what a particular identity means for you, or trying to understand how your sexuality fits within an existing relationship.
At Intimacy Counselling, we provide confidential and non-judgemental sexuality counselling in Auckland and online throughout New Zealand.
We welcome people who identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, queer, LGBTQIA+ or Rainbow, as well as people who are questioning their sexuality or don't want to use a label at all.
What Is Sexuality Counselling?
Sexuality counselling provides somewhere private to talk about your sexuality, attractions, identity, relationships and experiences.
People come to counselling for many different reasons.
You might want support with:
Questioning your sexuality
Understanding your sexual orientation
Same-sex attraction
Coming out
Gay identity
Lesbian identity
Bisexuality
Pansexuality
Asexuality
Queer identity
Sexuality later in life
Sexuality within a relationship or marriage
Dating
Sexual confidence
Intimacy
Family reactions
Cultural expectations
Religious beliefs and sexuality
Shame or difficulty accepting your sexuality
Relationships after coming out
There is no requirement to choose a label.
The focus is on helping you understand your own feelings, experiences and relationships.
Questioning Your Sexuality
You may be wondering:
Am I gay?
Am I bisexual?
Could I be lesbian?
Why has my sexuality changed?
Why am I attracted to someone I didn't expect to be attracted to?
Do I need to come out?
What does this mean for my relationship?
These can be difficult questions to work through alone.
Sexuality counselling gives you somewhere confidential to explore what you are experiencing without pressure to reach a particular conclusion.
Gay Counselling
You don't necessarily need counselling because you're gay.
You may simply want a counsellor with whom you can comfortably talk about your sexuality and relationships without having to explain or defend them.
Counselling may involve:
Dating and relationships
Intimacy
Sexual confidence
Communication
Family relationships
Coming out
Loneliness
Relationship conflict
Trust
Sexual concerns
Life changes
Lesbian Counselling
Lesbian and same-sex relationships can involve the same joys and challenges as other relationships, while sometimes bringing additional questions involving sexuality, family, identity and social expectations.
We offer individual and relationship counselling for concerns including:
Relationships and dating
Communication
Intimacy
Sexual desire
Relationship conflict
Coming out
Family acceptance
Trust
Sexuality and identity
Relationship changes
Bisexual & Pansexual Counselling
Some people experience attraction to more than one gender or regardless of gender.
You may have understood this about yourself for years or only recently begun questioning it.
For someone already in a long-term relationship, discovering or acknowledging bisexuality can sometimes raise additional questions.
What does this mean for me?
Do I need to tell my partner?
Does being bisexual mean my relationship has to change?
How do I explore my identity while respecting my relationship?
Counselling can provide a private space to work through these questions.
Sexuality Within a Marriage or Long-Term Relationship
Sometimes questions about sexuality emerge when someone is already married or in a committed relationship.
This can be confusing or frightening for both partners.
The discovery or acknowledgement of a person's sexuality does not automatically determine what happens to their relationship.
Counselling can provide space for both partners to discuss:
Sexual orientation
Attraction
Fear and uncertainty
Intimacy
Sexual connection
Communication
Coming out
Relationship agreements
Trust
What each partner wants
Decisions about the future
You can attend counselling individually or together.
Coming Out Counselling
Deciding whether, when and how to come out is personal.
You may be thinking about telling:
A partner
Parents
Children
Friends
Whānau
Colleagues
Your wider community
There isn't one correct way or timeline.
Counselling can help you explore what feels right for your circumstances and think through the relationships and practical considerations involved.
Sexuality, Culture, Family & Religion
Sexuality doesn't exist separately from the rest of our lives.
Family, culture, faith and community can all influence how we understand ourselves and our relationships.
For some people these parts of life fit comfortably together. For others, they can create significant conflict.
Counselling provides somewhere to explore these issues respectfully, including what your values, relationships, culture and sexuality mean to you.
Sexual Orientation Is Different From Gender Identity
Sexual orientation relates to attraction and sexuality.
Gender identity relates to your internal sense of gender.
They can interact, but they are not the same thing.
If your questions are primarily about your gender, visit:
[GENDER IDENTITY COUNSELLING NZ]
For broader LGBTQIA+ and Rainbow counselling:
If your concerns involve sexual functioning, sexual desire or sexual intimacy:
Online Sexuality Counselling NZ
You can access sexuality counselling from anywhere in New Zealand through our online counselling service.
This can be particularly useful if you live somewhere with limited access to sexuality or LGBTQ+-affirming counselling or simply prefer the privacy and convenience of talking from home.
Book Sexuality Counselling
You don't need to know exactly how you identify before booking.
You don't need to have decided whether you want to come out.
And you don't need to have all the answers.
Counselling can be the place where you begin exploring the questions.
Cat Valentine
Auckland & Online NZ
Angela Rennie
Auckland & Online NZ
Or explore our broader [LGBTQ+ COUNSELLING NZ] services.