Sex Addiction & Compulsive Sexual Behaviour Therapy
When Sexual Behaviour Feels Out of Control
You may call it sex addiction.
You may describe it as compulsive sexual behaviour.
Whatever terminology you use, the important issue is whether sexual thoughts, urges or behaviours feel difficult to control and are causing significant problems in your life or relationships.
At Intimacy Counselling NZ, we provide confidential, non-shaming therapy for people concerned about their sexual behaviour.
What Is Compulsive Sexual Behaviour?
Concerns may involve:
Compulsive pornography use
Repeated masturbation that feels difficult to control
Sexual messaging
Online sexual activity
Repeated affairs
Hook-up apps
Paying for sexual services
Repeated risky sexual behaviour
Sexual behaviour used to manage difficult emotions
Repeated attempts to stop followed by returning to the behaviour
Secrecy and lying surrounding sexual behaviour
Clinically, terminology matters. “Sex addiction” is widely used by people seeking help, while compulsive sexual behaviour disorder is classified in ICD-11 as an impulse-control disorder rather than a substance-style addiction.
Therapy Without Shame
Having a high sex drive isn't by itself evidence of compulsive sexual behaviour.
The important issues include control, distress, impairment and consequences, rather than simply how often someone thinks about or has sex.
Therapy can explore:
Triggers
Habitual behaviour cycles
Emotional regulation
Secrecy
Shame
Relationship difficulties
Intimacy
Sexual beliefs
Boundaries
Relapse patterns
Alternative coping strategies
Taking responsibility for behaviour
When Your Partner Has Been Hurt
Compulsive sexual behaviour often has consequences for partners.
Where appropriate, therapy can also address disclosure, trust, boundaries, responsibility and relationship recovery.
Regaining Control
The aim isn't to eliminate healthy sexuality.
It is to help you develop greater choice and control so that sexual behaviour fits with the life and relationships you want.