Sex Therapy

What is Sex Therapy?

Sex Therapy is an ethical and professional approach to relationships, sexual functions, gender and sexuality.

It focuses clinical knowledge towards assisting individuals and couples to create and maintain healthy relationships and sexual exchanges with others. It recognizes that sexuality is an important component in people’s lives. Sex therapy is based on the assumption that sex is healthy and good, and that relationships and interpersonal intimacy are important and desirable. When there are difficulties in this area it can negatively impact lives, resulting in relationship breakdowns, low self esteem, depression, anxiety, stress and physical problems.

Sex therapy is still a relatively new scientific field. It has not received much scientific attention in the past. Therefore it draws from many different academic disciplines, including physiology, sociology and psychology. It has grown from a growing awareness that many of us are ill informed on issues of intimacy and sexual behavior.

Concerns about sexuality and sexual behaviors are common. It is also common to struggle to find someone to help in overcoming these problems. Sex therapy uses many of the same techniques as other therapies; however, it is unique due to the development of a specialized approach towards sexual problems.

Sex therapists work with a wide variety of problems. Some of these are listed below, however, the list is too long and varied to include everything.

  • individuals and couples with relationship and/or sexual issues

  • difficulties forming or maintaining relationships

  • problems with physical or emotional intimacy

  • individuals and couples facing barriers with regards to seeking help due to cultural and/ or religious reasons

  • recovering from an affair

  • unsatisfying sex lives

  • different sex drives

  • affairs & infidelity

  • fear of intimacy or commitment

  • changes after birth of children

  • making your sex life more satisfying and fun

  • sex and ageing

  • sex and disabilities

  • sex after childbirth

  • sex after surgery

  • nervousness about sex and/or relationships

  • physical and anatomical problems

  • performance dysfunctions and sexual anxiety

  • poor libido

  • arousal issues

  • loss of sex drive

  • difficulty in climaxing

  • difficulties in orgasm

  • premature ejaculation

  • delayed ejaculation

  • erectile dysfunction

  • erection difficulties

  • penetration difficulties

  • painful sexual encounters

  • vaginal dryness and lubrication

  • vaginismus

  • vulvodynia (specialist in)

  • general female and male sexual problems

  • sexual compulsions

  • sexuality and gender

  • fetish issues

  • cross dressing

  • low sexual desire

  • gender identity disorders

  • general sexual problems

  • sexual abuse

COMMON ISSUES

Low Sex Drive/ Low Libido

Up to 40% of individuals suffer from low libido/ sex drive. Medication cannot help with low libido and can often result in unpleasant side effects. A sex therapist can assess the physical, emotional, psychological factors and arousal problems behind your low libido/ sex drive.

Some of the things that can contribute to, or cause, low sexual desire include;

  • work stress/demands

  • tiredness

  • self esteem issues

  • relationship problems; conflict, communication issues, controlling attitudes, criticism, defensiveness, lack of trust, lack of emotional connection, feels of unimportance.

  • lack of intimacy 

  • orgasm and/or arousal issues

  • previous or current abuse

  • mental health problems (stress, depression, anxiety, low self-esteem)

  • religious and/or cultural factors

  • painful intercourse

  • erectile dysfunction (impotence) and /or delayed ejaculation (inability to ejaculate during intercourse)

  • negative thinking patterns (anger, dependency, fear of intimacy, or feelings of rejection)

  • pregnancy, childbirth, breast-feeding, demands of children

  • substance use

  • chronic illness

  • surgery

  • living with pain

  • side effects of medicines (especially antidepressants and anti-seizure medications)

  • hormonal changes

  • aging

  • Desire is affected by many things; stress, anxiety, depression, self-esteem, physical health, resentment, unhealthy conflict, unresolved issues, porn use.

  • It is important to work on intimacy to bring back desire. Untreated, low libido/ sex drive can lead to stress, anxiety, depression, social isolation and relationship issues. Low libido /sex drive  is often a difficult sexual problems to treat, therefore curing it may not be as simple as taking a pill or using a prescription gel or cream. To restore a healthy sexual relationship, it is also essential to resolve issues between you and your partner, and increase pleasure, connection and intimacy in your relationship. Contact us now for a consultation.

Desire differences

-One partner will always have a higher sex drive than the other, to some extent.

-The partner with lower desire feels pressured while the partner with higher desire feels undesirable. Both lead to resentment.

-Some people want sex to feel connected, other people want to feel connected before they want sex.

-It is helpful to try and see things through your partner’s perspective, become less polarized, and learn new tools, and take a ‘we’ approach.

Infidelity

Finding out that your partner has been cheating on you can be devastating. Unfortunately 20% of individuals engage in infidelity whilst in a relationship.  For many infidelity can lead to the end of a relationship. For a relationship to survive infidelity both people in the relationship need to be committed to the healing process. Part of this process requires couples counselling. Couples counselling will help guide you beyond infidelity. It will encourage you to explore issues related to cheating and create a deeper understanding of the involved dynamics.

Relationship counselling is not designed to cast blame or “gang up on” the person who has cheated. However, to repair the relationship responsibility for the harm he/she has caused needs to be taken. A relationship requires stability, security, physical and emotional intimacy, and companionship. When any one of these is missing both partners will feel dissatisfied with the relationship. Counselling can help you to find those things with each other again. Find a deeper, richer understanding and commitment, contact us not for a consultation. 

Female Sexual Pain

Although up to 10% of the female population suffers from sexual pain at any one time it is still a subject that is not talked about. Many women suffer in silence which leads to stress, anxiety, depression and relationship issues. Women spend years being misdiagnosed by multiple health professionals. When they finally reached a diagnosis they are usually prescribed medications that have little success in treatment their condition. The medications prescribed often result in horrific side effects and worsening symptoms. Counselling can help you to reduce and manage the symptoms you suffer from. It is often a holistic approach that has been demonstrated by research to be the most effective in treating female sexual pain. Start your journey to change and contact us now for a consultation.

Erectile Dysfunction

Erectile dysfunction is a problem many men suffer from at some stage in their life (2.3 million men suffer from erectile dysfunction in the UK alone), however, only 1/10 men will actually seek help for this condition. This condition will often result in stress, anxiety, depression and relationship issues when untreated. Most men will seek help through from doctors or online by acquiring medication, which can have serious side effects. These medications will treat the symptoms but it will usually not provide a cure. Erectile dysfunction is sometimes physical but mainly mental and emotional. Erectile dysfunction can be caused by stress, fear, anxiety, high porn use and aging (50% of men over 40).

Erectile dysfunction can indicate other health issues, with 25% of men will actually suffering from cardio vascular issues. If you are suffering from erectile dysfunction, please go to your doctor for a full medical checkup first.  Once other medical issues have been ruled out a sex therapist can help you regain control of your intimate life again. Contact us now for a consultation. 

Pre-Ejaculation

Premature ejaculation is a common and treatable condition, with approximately 3-30% of men suffer from this condition. Unfortunately many men do not seek help from premature ejaculation and suffer in silence resulting in depression, anxiety, stress and relationship issues. Whilst doctors often prescribe medications for premature ejaculation (SSRI medications) these often have horrible side effects including delayed orgasm. Sex therapy is an effective way to treat premature ejaculation which has shown high levels of success. Premature ejaculation often be treated through anxiety management, cognitive work, and behavioral techniques. Don’t let premature ejaculation control your sexual experiences and contact us now for a consultation.

PORN RECOVERY

Is your pornography use out of control? Is pornography ruining your ability to have relationships? Viewing pornography can become compulsive and develop into problem behaviours. People suffering from pornography issues spend increasing amounts of time watching pornography. This can lead to numerous negative consequences such as an inability to have a sexual relationships with a real person, relationship problems, increasingly dangerous sexual behaviours, infidelity, legal charges, and adverse effects on finances and occupations. Take back control of your life and contact us today.

Symptoms of Pornography Issues;

  • Pornography use feels out of your control.

  • You are unsuccessful in your efforts to limit your use or stop.

  • You experience a cycle of excitement and stimulation before and during use, followed by intense shame, guilt, remorse or depression.

  • You go out of your way to hide your use from others, frequently delete your internet browsing history, or lie about your use.

  • You spend considerable time thinking about pornography when you are not using it, as well as taking time to plan when you will use it again.

  • The time you spend watching pornography increases to the point of taking precedent over other responsibilities, hobbies or relationships.

  • Your use of pornography has negative consequences in your life. For example, you may participate in increasingly risky behaviors that may cause you or others physical or emotional harm. Your use may negatively impact your academics, job performance, or even place you at risk to lose a job if caught.

  • Your pornography use or other sexual behaviors cause problems in intimate relationships, create emotional distance between you and others you care about, or cause people in relationships with you to feel neglected or distrustful.

  • You are unable to function sexually in intimate relationships.

Please get in touch if you would like any further information.

Confidentiality

Intimacy Counselling takes your privacy seriously and any information you share with Intimacy Counselling is completely confidential. Legal exceptions can be found on our Privacy & Security page.